Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Vikings / Bears Week - trash talk review

Well, it is Vikings / Bears Week.

One of the fun things in the NFC North is that the 3 teams in the division (Detroit not included) are relatively close together, have been rivals for decades, the 3 primary cities Minneapolis, Chicago and Milwaukee (Green Bay doesn't actually count) are full of transplants from the other cities, and nearly every family is divided at some level amoungst Bear/Packer/Viking fans. All 3 teams have spirited rivalries and always give us entertaining games.

With all that said, it makes for a lot of fun during the weeks which these teams play against each other. Before we get into breaking down the matchups and me telling you why the Vikings will roll over the Bears, I'd like to give you a quick reference guide to smack talk and rebuttles to be used towards your overweight, beer drinking, barely educated Bears fan friend or family.

You being on the offensive - here are some solid ideas/statements you can use to get under their skin. These are the buttons you should push but if you go down this road don't tread lightly, come out guns blazing...

"Walter Payton is the most overrated RB of all time, he couldn't hold a candle to Barry Sanders." - this will always get them riled up and fiesty. You will likely need to follow it up with something like, "If Barry would have had an offensive line he would have destroyed Payton's record and still could have retired early."

The Super Bowl Shuffle is gay! - this needs not explanation and really is not defensible.

When was the last time the Bears actually won a playoff game? - we all know their response to this one, but hold them to the fire don't let them redirect to 1985. I'll help you out, it was 1994. 12 years ago and really only 2 opportunities in the playoffs over that span (both at home).

Finally you could always just say something about Steve Smith, that one is still fresh in their memories.

You on the Defensive - sometimes you get that obnoxious Bear fan who thinks he is watching the reincarnation of the 85 Bears (man they are always living in the past) and decides to come at you all week with how bad the Vikings are and how the Bears will roll on Sunday in the HHH Metrodome.

1. Remain calm, no matter what they say don't show any emotion. They will feed off your fear so don't react to anything.

"The Vikes are the worst 2-0 team remaining, they haven't seen a defense like this one yet!" - RIGHT because beating Was/Car isn't nearly as impressive as beating the juggernaughts that are the Packer/Lions. And that defense was pretty stout when it mattered last year wasn't it.

"Rex Grossman is the highest rate QB in the NFL" - again, camly refer to him putting up numbers vs. the Packers and the Lions. Don't be afraid to throw in how that is just an unfair matchup, kind of like Santana facing the Cubs lineup.

"Your team parties on boats with strippers!" - AND?

"We don't even care about the Vikings, the only rivalry we have is with the Packers." - this one is just retarded. If he/she thinks you are going to get offended that we aren't the TOP rivalry then he needs some new material. And really when was the last time the Packer or Bears played a meaningfull game. When Green Bay was good, Chicago was terrible and when Chicago was good (in the 80s) Green Bay was aweful. So really who cares, Bears fans know that Green Bay is irrelevant this year and this game is their only meaningful divisional road game.

"When was the last time you won a Super Bowl?" - The Bears Suck!

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